my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
