He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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