my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
