After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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