oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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