Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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