Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
