I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
