I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
