We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
