just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
