Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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