All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
