We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
