apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
