But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
