People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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