I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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