You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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