I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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