Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
