College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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