new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
