I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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