I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Small penises have feelings too.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
