I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
