I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
