He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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