Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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