I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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