ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
