I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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