week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
