Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
