Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ladies don't puke and tell
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
