Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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