he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she looked like the before picture.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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