im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
