College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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