And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
