she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
