I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
