I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
