That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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