Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
