I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
