I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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