I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
