the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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