Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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