Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
