Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
